SIXELAAFIERCEE

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A Message to Women in Their 20's

@cookayemonster

I'm halfway through my twenties and lost as hell. From feeling like I'm ruining my life with every choice I make, to aimlessly dating boys when all I really want is a MAN. Also being conflicted with the concept of enjoy your twenties and planning for your future. 

While your twenties are whole lot of fun they sure are a hard time of trying to find your rhyme or reason to your life. In the midst of my own personal struggle about a year ago I had to Uber to make ends meet. At first I hated it, I felt like it was so awkward but I eventually found enjoyment in it. Half of that was due to the amounts of drunk people I picked up but most importantly all the amazing women I got to meet and converse with. 

After countless conversations I decided to start asking questions that would actually help me get through my situation. Being broke and 23, any advice was good advice in my opinion. I would make it a point to ask ladies any advice they'd give me or their younger self... they all had some really great points and definitely enlightened me. 

All the advice gathered basically came down to a couple main points with each lady explaining specifically how the point affected them. 

1. DONT COMMIT

This advice was definitely number one. Collectively the women I spoke with urged me to date, enjoy and learn myself. Play the field so that yo know what you do and don't like. Don't get fixated on finding your soulmate. Relationships are nice but when you're young they aren't everything. Focus on yourself and your goals and the rest will come in due time. Your twenties are for meeting new people, dating, experimenting, and making mistakes. The more people you interact with and date, the more you learn about yourself and who you are truly compatible with. 

 

2. EXPERIENCE THINGS + MAKE MEMORIES

If you can travel, even if you can't, TRAVEL! Go on that vacation, go to that concert, kiss that boy, kiss that girl. Have fun exploring your sexuality, but be safe while figuring it out. Traveling gives you a fresh perspective, don't be afraid to venture out. If you have the opportunity, spend a few years living in a city like New York, LA, San Francisco or even Austin. Take advantage of the energy of the city and all it has to offer--restaurants, bars, concerts, art galleries, sporting events. This is the time in your life where you will have the energy to stay out all day and night, meeting new people, making spur-of-the-moment plans and memories that will last forever. You have the rest of your life to move to the safe suburban town with a white picket fence. Don't hold yourself back from anything you want to do. Try it all!

Take photos of yourself in a bathing suit. I know, you think you're fat. But trust me, when you're in your 30's and 40's after having a couple kids, you'll look back on those photos and realize that you were perfect.

3. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF 

Drink water. Spend that extra money on your face wash. Sunscreen is important, white, black, yellow or blue your skin will thank you later. Do yoga, go for a jog, take a hike. Unplug yourself! Put it on Do Not disturb, turn it off, don't answer that text. Preserve your peace, your mental health is just as important as your physical health. 

4. SAVE + INVEST 

Don't buy those designer shoes (even if they're amazing and on sale) if you don't have money in savings. Learn how to invest your money. Take ownership of your finances. They don't teach you this stuff in school, so take an online course if you have to! Learn how to budget, start a savings plan or IRA, stay out of credit debt, and learn how to monitor your credit score. So many doors will open for you if you have a solid grasp on this from an early start.

5. PRIORITIZE 

Decide what's important to you and pay no mind to the thoughts of others. What will make. you happy in the long run? Family over friends ... friends over life. Take a friend out to coffee, text more, reach out. In the end, your family and friends are everything and will be there once your "self discovery" phase is over...

6. CALL BULLSHIT 

This one is my personal favorite... If you see it, call it. Don't be afraid to be bold and speak your mind. In the end you'll regret those moments that you didn't say how you really felt.

Tap into yourself, because everything you'll ever need is already in you. Looking at my own life, the moments I'm most proud of are the moments I decided to just let go and follow my intuition. Almost halfway into my twenties I've had a good ride, make tons of mistake and learned so much in the process. I wouldn't change much of it because it simply has shaped me into the woman I am today. All in all love yourself enough to set yourself up for success, live fearlessly and truthfully. We've got one life so trust your intuition and enjoy the ride. 

 

xx Sixela